Don’t Axe Me No Questions
Don’t ask me questions. Four words that will solve most of your problems when dealing with people like me. Don’t ask me questions. Now I shall rattle off a list of reasons supporting this statement and logic that will fall upon deaf ears. A small warning to not take yourself so seriously, for if you can not laugh at yourself you have no business laughing at others; strap yourself in, for my protection not yours.
Why do we ask someone a question when we do not really even want to hear a response? Why not save your lip service for someone you truly give a shit about? Don’t ask me how I am doing. The only thing you are doing is wasting precious oxygen. Nice weather we’re having? How about those, “Insert your gay sports team here!”, as if we have some sort of rapport. Don’t waste your breath unless you want to hear what I have to say or the other exception would be if it is part of your job. I mean if you are a Wal-Mart greeter or somehow work with the general public in another capacity, by all means say hello; ask me how I am doing; have at it. Otherwise, well, just shut it.
I know you were expecting a compliant, “I’m good, how are you” but that would be lame. I’m having a shit day but thanks for asking would be a better response. Or, you know your breath stinks and your clothes do not match whatsoever is classic as well. Would you like a breath mint for that halitosis? I am sorry but I do not have an on/off switch for being brutally honest to your prosaic and inane questions that you insist on asking me twenty times a day.
Of course you have to be prepared for the shock and awe after effects. As if you were some how being rude by being honest, when they are the one that asked you in the first place. It isn’t like I stood there and called you a fatty, fatty, fat, fat or something. No, I merely answered your nagging questions as quickly and honestly as possible. I was simply trying to expedite your departure from my personal space is all and fuck me, the only thing I could think of was to give you an honest answer. Please explain this double standard to your kids for me will you? Explain to them how it is okay to lie to others, because that is what we do here: we lie; all day, every day.
Expanding further on this topic is proving to be useless but I shall continue nonetheless. Again I state the obvious: You started by ASKING a question. So, if like, you know, like don’t appreciate my answer, well maybe you should like, reflect on that for a moment. I know right, Earth shattering, right?
Okay, enough bad English. Do not assume to know my mood due to my response to your invalid reasoning. I once again, answered you curtly and honestly, yet you somehow do not approve. You insist upon inserting your opinion into my answer and if you’re going to do that then you should just talk to yourself in a mirror but I can understand how this may frighten you. My response to your query does not in any way reflect my mood be it good, bad or ugly. It is simply put: my response. So please, for your safety, do not answer for me after I have already answered your frivolously worded questions. As for your sanity, there is nothing I can do for you, though I hear medication works wonders. THX1138 baby!
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“Hi. How are you?” Is it an honest question posed out of care and genuine concern, or rather a generic knee-jerk reaction when nothing else comes to mind? Believing it the latter ~ I ask, as you so poignantly do, why bother? I cannot tell you how often I’ve been asked “How are you?” whilst the asker of said question was walking away! Now, there’s someone who not only doesn’t care and has no manners, but is completely oblivious to their own actions/behaviors.
Why does one ask a question ~ senseless or meaningful as it may be, to only bark & bitch when you’ve done nothing but answer honestly?
Does the vox populi expect/desire/demand the generic regurgitated response? I believe the answer is yes because most people do not want to know what is going on in your life, let alone what effect it is having upon your person.
Much like technology the ambulating masses wish to smile, nod, and keep on moving void of thought, feeling, and lasting effect. Friendly encounters are no more than an abbreviated text message; when was the last time you enjoyed an intellectually challenging conversation ~ other than the ones you had with me?
Have we become so rushed that we cannot talk? Are we so busy that we cannot halt bodily motion for more than a minute?
Who in their right mind frowns upon honest intellectual discourse? How can genuine concern be wholeheartedly expressed in a truncated text message?
When did honesty become un faux pas?
I guess it all come down to ~ know when to nut up and shut up, or just jog the F*ck on ; )
We’ve gone soft. There is no other answer for me at this time. We use to be much stronger; we use to know the face of our fathers. Looking back through history, I read how forthright people were. Whether it was in a newspaper or maybe a debate or just in passing conversation; they told you how they felt and . . . YOU LISTENED and spoke back.
Nothing annoys me more (yeah okay) than getting a text message instead of an actual conversation. Nothing comes off as more impersonal than a one inch screen asking me what I am doing. Couldn’t you just pick up the fucking phone? Not that I will answer but at least there is a bit more effort in that.
I passed at least 20 people on the way in to work this morning. Guess what? Every one of them that knows me said it. “Hi, how are you?” and then guess what happened?
They. Just. Kept. WALKING.